Question

Seleda’s Resident Scientist: "Gulbé"… All the way from Addis

• Location

Cilima Empire gwaro

• Currently working on…

Rocks: Ratio of speed thrown to impact on head of rocks landing on passers-by.

• What time does your day start?

6 pm-ish

• With everyone demonizing the nuclear industry, would you consider your field a growth industry, or do you find yourself thinking "Y’know, I would have made an excellent insurance salesman?"

There's always room for a gulbé in the hood, especially now with no se'at ilafi and all those dollar-zerzari tourists. (But I suppose I could sell insurance to the "subjects")

• If you were to give advice to a young graduate student, would you recommend an academic research track or one geared to the private sector?

If you're going to be wesswassa enough to be in grad school, at least get good head-gear (to avoid my own ongoing rock:head impact research)

• What is the wimpiest field in all the sciences? i.e. what is the most useless science?

Puleeze! Don't you know it's all useless? Who do you think put the "diss" in mehandiss?

• Does your lab have chaise lounge chairs and cable TV?

You betcha .. and satellite, too. How the hell else would I see my Manchester United football hood homies?

• With all the hydroelectric potential Ethiopia has, it does not seem likely nuclear energy will ever play a role there. Do you see nuclear science having any viable application in Ethiopia?

Yeah, whatever.

Ere…do you know when Buna is playing next?

• Have you ever in the past, or will you in the future use "Hey, babe. I know how to operate them fancy Radiology machines" as a pick up line?

Sure! Works wonders with the Iff-Iff College girls 'round my way. Hey, how'd you know -- have we met?

• What are your impressions of Science education in Ethiopia?

Totally useless. Listen, if we'd been taught anything useful the four years I went to third grade, I wouldn't have to be doing this field research about rocks now, would I?

• What is the most rewarding aspect of your respective fields?

A perfect throw, and someone's anat dissolving in red. Nothin' like it.

• What does a serious scientist have as a hobby?

Who knows, and who cares?

• Have you ever programmed viruses in Fortran?

No, don't even know the chick -- but for you amateur brothers who don't know better, the gulit near Atse Naod T/Bet has some great TSehay yalnekaw tetracycline. Tell 'em Gulbé sent ya.

• Do you interact with other Ethiopian scientists? And do you think this networking is important?

Yeah, actually my research was greatly improved when Tamiru from Engineering’s head er… encountered the afore-mentioned great balCHut. I'm looking for other soft-headed people like him to "network" with.

• What is the atomic weight of Actinium?

No clue, never even see some…but I know a grocer near Piassa who makes magic on his scale. What would you like it to weigh?

• When did you know you really wanted to be a scientist?

Minalachihu? Me… want to be a scientist? You must have heard me wrong …I said I want to "BEAT" a scientist.

• Do we need more scientists in Ethiopia or more accountants?

Hmm… I hadn't considered the accountant rock:head ratio. I'll have to get back to you on that.

• Who influenced you the most in shaping your career?

One-eyed Degol -- no question. He's moved up, though; went from rock science to parking insurance (he thought up that whole scheme of not touching your car for hamsa-santi)…what a guy!

• What do you think of this interview?

I was hoping to get a clear shot at the other two you interviewed, so I'm kinda pissed.

• Would you consider being a mentor to young Ethiopians?

Oh yeah! Do send me Kiddi, and Teddy and Johnny, and I'll show them what REAL life is like (heheheheh).

• Can one be a pacifist physicist?

Isuma be dehnna gizay Qere.

• When are you the most happy?

Midnight… Gedamnesh Tej Bet and a good azmari around. Mote negeru.

• Are the people at MIT a bunch of crybaby weenies?

What? Meet? Oh, em-ay-tee? Who dat?

• If you won the Pulitzer Prize, what would you say in your acceptance speech?

I'd say hi to the Piassa gang, then ask who'd wanna buy the damn thing off of me. But it all depends on how well it throws.

• What do you miss most about Ethiopia?

I miss the good old days when dumb agul-ferenjs didn't ruin the Genna holidays

• Do you read SELEDA? (The truth.) And why or why not?

Indé! Oh, I thought you said something else…(just kidding)…

• What do you consider has been the greatest stride in science in Ethiopia?

The endod research by Dr. Aklilu Lemma (bet you thought I didn't know that, huh?)

• Will you ever read SELEDA again?

Oh, yeah! Hey, make that medfer chick write again.

• Why?

Why? Why-e-e? Wei medenaQor!

• Thank you for doing this. Is there anything else you want to say?

Nah. Hey, c'mere let me feel your head…this is a niiiice one...