Top Ten Things Not to Say When You are about to be re-sworn is as a “new” Ethiopian citizen.>

10. From previous aristocracy:  “My good man… Tell me… does this mean that I get all my CHisseNoch back?”

9. From a Tateq escapee: “You sure the Abiyot is over ‘coz mefekirrochu hulu TefewiNal.”

8. From a former student activist: “I shall name the new underground movement I shall create after…me.”

7. From an Addis A’ba moleqeq: "Excuse me, Mr. Swearer-Inner... before I sign up for this... I don't eat Qei siga … Can you guarantee me pursuit of hapiness and neCH sga?”

6. From a nouveau riche parkiologist: "When do I get to have my picture taken with the Ark of the Covenant?"

5. From those returning from Canada: "Abo eski… where do I get a touch up for my yedebezzeze nqisat?”

4. From a former Derg Abal: “Ere lemehonu…. meserete Tmhrt snteNa zur geba…”

3. From an Ethiopian American who is more American than Ethiopian: “Duuuuuude…. MaletE… Atttttoooooo. What’s been shakin' up in the motherland?”

2. From an Ethiopian Yuppie: “I assume this is what they call a mad bEt…?Oh, its your entire house… charming. Rustic charm is in.”

1. From those returning from DC: “Pa-pa-pa. ItyoPPia wusT yihE hulu abesha ke yet meTa?”