"Top Ten Signs you are Ready to Go Back to Ethiopia"...
10. You totally misunderstood what "y'ennat ager Tirree" meant.
9. Your 857th attempt to brew tejj in your studio apartment just failed.
8. Your cousin back home says there's a 4.2-carre-meter plot left near Kotebe where you can erect yet another high priced "Greenwich Village type" azmari bet.
7. Ethiopian Air Lines no longer allows flight attendants to spit in your food if you annoy them with requests for a pillow.
6. Made your own "SELEDA Editors" effigy you want to burn at monthly bonfires outside trendy Addis cafes.
5. You hear that the classic Qera-gimat is no more and your villa near Bulgaria mazoria hasn't been nationalized.
4. You've been watching too many episodes of Cheers and feel the need to reconnect with your old kerembola-bet hangout "where everybody knows your name".
3. You are tired of the child-bride you brought here five years ago -- it's time to upgrade to a newer model.
2. Your sweet, Barney-watching daughter just explained to you that 'weed' and 'grass' have nothing to do with the lawn, and you really, really want to ameduwa 'Bun!' eskil spank the life out of her in the style you have been accustomed without fear of making the evening news. ("Maryland parent says 'I will not raise an agdim adeg!'...Beats child "old-fashioned" way... arrested...details at 11.")
...and the number one sign that you are ready to go back home...
1. You have an American passport now and you can beat the crap out of former Qebele guards!
