Top Ten Cities Seleda would NOT relocate to:

10. Atlanta, Georgia: God left the "tlant" in Atlanta for a reason...

9. San Jose, California: Those people actually MAKE money from their dot.coms. Who needs the pressure!?

8. Miiniieeappooliis, Minnesoottaaaa: The motto for Ethiopians there is "If you don't have five degrees in etymology, don't even bother visiting." We's gots a looooong way to went...

7. Toronto, Canada: They're waaaaay ahead of us on the trendy curve...we hear they even got their neck "tattoos" BEFORE leaving Ethiopia...

6. Fargo, North Dakota: Thirteen months of sunshine minus 12 months of kiffu winter...you don't gotta be a math major...

5. New York, NY: As if we don't already think the world revolves around us! Besides, New Jersey is ...like...right there!!

4. London, England: Hmmmm...yalefebachew aristos or yemayalfilachew revos? No, thanks! Besides, they...like...know more big words than we do.

3. Harare, Zimbabwe: They've already exceeded their quota of undesirable Ethiopians.

2. Columbus, Ohio: We have strong objections to the gabi as formal attire.

1. Washington, DC: We would love to. Really. But the Woodner "Wudineh" complex, the Oakwood "Chew AqebiyiN" Apartments, and the Southern "Gojjam Berenda" Towers are all full, and PMI and Colonial Parking aren't hiring these days.