Words I've been dying to hear a woman say: "my multi-million dollar business".
I do windows and floors, let's talk!

I don't want to put you on the spot but, being a plastic surgeon, you probably have a clue as to what's sexy so I'll ask. How should an Ethiopian male go about being sexy? Let's face it, the majority of us are not a 6'5" black version of Atlas. We tend to average around 5'9", have a slim build, and by the time we're in our thirties we have a bulging tummy that makes us appear pregnant.

Up to now the Young Ethio-Male Guide to Looking Sexy has consisted of
1: Constantly wearing sunglasses in public (day night indoors outdoors does not matter)
2: Maintain full head of hair (Hair-in-a-can, relaxer, dreads, afro. Whatever works)
3: Tight pants, silk shirt (top three buttons always opened), black leather jacket
4: Distinctive after-shave
5: Gold lighter, monogrammed
6: BMW 328is manual transmission

What do I need to add to give me an extra edge? Okay, I don't have the BMW, can't quite fit into tight pants, and hair-in-a-can just ain't working. But I still think I can pull off being sexy.

Well, I've got to rush to a meeting. We're making a pitch to a new client. To be more specific the sales team is making a pitch; the technical team is there to "bull". Sales pitch rule #1. Never correct the sales staff in front of the client. If the sales team makes a mistake, it's the technical teams' job to come up with a lie that will make whatever the sales team just said feasible. I think you Docs have a similar rule... "Nurses are not allowed to correct doctors in front of the patient."

Doctor: "Sorry, Ms. Birtukan, you are dying."
Ms. Birtukan: "But how?! I just came in for a fluff'n'fold"
Doctor: "Sorry, Ms Birtukan, but that's the way the balls bounce."
Doctor and Nurse leave Ms. Birtukan sobbing Nurse: "Doctor, it's your son's dog that's dying; Ms. Birtukan just needs to be firmed up."
Doctor: "Oh, then tell Ms. Birtukan you made a mistake, then call up my son and tell him he's dying."

Well, let me go strut my stuff.
Later,
Siraw

Why you're still single boggles the mind.
I wanted to get that off my (still silicon free) chest right off the bat. Any man who would willingly put sponge to window and mop to floor gets a little gold star in my little black book. I'm sure you're being entirely too modest with your "how do I become sexy" question. Anyone with your insights and ability for personal reflection has to rate high with any female worth her salt -- and believe me, some women retain enough salty water in their ankles to earn at least a bahir designation. (Cheap shot at my own gender, perhaps, but only in my noble effort to make you feel competitive.)

But on to your question.
Yes, it is true that I have found myself in the position of having to define "sexy enough" for a lot of people. I've been told that I wield my scalpel like a goddess...yadda, yadda, yadda. I'll now get off my ego-trip train.

Let's go down your Ethio-Male Guide (is that a magazine?) list, shall we?
1. Sunglasses 24-7 syndrome with our young males:

If it ain't broke, it's still workin'. Keep them on, I say. Here's the reason why. Sunglasses have a triple function (pay close attention, now): a) the obvious, protection from the sun: they help retard the effects of the sun so crowsfeet come much later than they do for your ferenge counterparts so you can lie about your age without having to suffer through having to witness disbelief (only skepticism); b) they hide the black circles/bags under your eyes, put there through overindulgence in the good life (clubbing, boozing and horizontal calisthenics); and c) they conceal the congenital "wandering eye" from your female du jour; behind your sunglasses, you may scope out her competition without ever having to endure her taciturn kurfia. Of course, watch out if your beloved begins to don her own sunglasses at night!

2. Hair:

I'm of the opinion that the less energy men put into their coiffure, the more they have for other - er - worthwhile activities. Doing household chores pops into mind, and you may define that any way you please. But if you insist in being a hair Primo Don, I have to say that I have nothing against hair-in-a-can, relaxers or even dreads (because, as you know, image is everything - despite that ludicrous Sprite commercial). But the Afro was laid to rest with the 70s, my brotha' -- keep it close to the scalp!

3. Tight pants, silk shirt, black leather jacket ensemble:

In LA, that screams two things: Latino! or Gay! If you are neither, leave them hanging in your closet.

4. Distinctive after-shave:

What is distinctive to the male olfactory may reek like Lysol to the average female. Whatever it is, if you insist on wearing it, do so bequTeba. (By the way, same goes for those females out there who go through a 5 oz. bottle of Coco Channel every six months.)

5. Gold lighter, monogrammed:

Only if it's for decorative, "I have enough disposable income to indulge in crap like this" purposes. Otherwise, do not flip-and-light after having overindulged your yen for that distinctive after-shave... . I don't do skin grafts.

6. BMW 328IS manual transmission:

It screams "I have inadequacies I don't mind all and sundry guessing at!" or "I couldn't get the house, so I've settled for the next best thing!" What you're driving now (does it run?) I'm sure is fine, as long as it doesn't have a gaping hole in the dash where an 8-track player used to be.

As for What Can I Personally Do For You? Recommend a short woman to balance out your height issues and a tummy lipo and a possible tuck to give you that flat abdomen.

But again, I cannot stress enough how a man with an apron on, a duster in one hand and his baby nephew/niece on his hip could turn any woman's head. Pose, take a picture, post it in your personal ad. Watch it work its magic.

Well, you've made a liar out of me. In our last brief communiqué I told you that I was not in the counseling business and that is all I've done here. I'm not sure how many people log-on to Seleda, but I hope that they, too, can benefit from my modest bits of wisdome a la Dear Abeey. You may now refer to me as "Wid Kokeb." I kid. And I'm not very good at it. So...

I leave you now with the satisfied belief that I've performed some sort of verbal plastic surgery for you. Lunch break is over and I'm off to perform 2 lifts, 6 lipos and a scar revision (keloids can be a killer on the ol' self esteem).