Note from the Editors…. Upper Management.

It has come to our attention that self-crowned intellectual dwarfs, who’ve taken to labeling themselves “editors” here at SELEDA have been busy sullying our good name. We don’t know what’s worse… being bad-mouthed by people who still shop at Macy’s or finding ourselves seated next to a table full of inebriated middle management types who put steak sauce on Chateaubriand.

Excccuse us! Denb… sine s’rat…Are we the last ones who care? Keepers of the last vestige of décor? Apparently so! So, consider this a coup… Not the bloody kind where people with questionable taste in attire and dubious personal hygiene practices take over. Oh, that has so been done!

No. Consider this SELEDA: The Restoration Years… sort of a return to splendor after putzy proletariats have walked all over an Italian marble floor with wet, calloused feet. The humanity!

SELEDA from now on is going to be a forum where decent, peace-loving people are able to air the injustices and grievance they have to endure.

OK. We’ll start…

What is up with the silly people at the airport in Denver who refused to shut down three terminals when we found some dastardly liquid leaking from our brand new Dahlia Grande Fleur tote? Demmo “We are sorry that is an unreasonable request”! Unreasonable? Unreasonable is when the concierge at the Plaza can’t spare a lackey to run an errand for us at Cartier! Unreasonable is when we can’t find enough silbabot in Addis for a decent facial! Politely asking that a little airport shut down because we are understandably agitated is… very reasonable.

And then they wonder why we get unhinged!

So, two SELEDA Sabers down to the city of Denver.  Sine s’rat temaru.

Well… alrighty then…. We feel better.

Excuse us a second… some weathered “editor” is nattering about something…

Seledawiyan… there is a hostage situation here at SELEDA… Upper management has taken over editorial matters. We the editors and writers would like to distance ourselves from this blatant disregard for the creative mind and journalistic integrity. Repeat… this is a hostage situation. Do NOT support this supercilious tone in the “new” SELEDA. Upper management is flexing its dictatorial muscles. Fight, SELEDAwiyan… fight! We shall…

Whatever! We’re back. Silly “editor” person with unresolved childhood issues is now safely locked in the basement. We just have one thing to say…. All of them… writers, editors, goofball interns… siyasssssTelllllu! The lot of them.  

Back to important matters…

These maundering minons here made the December Issue the AIDS/HIV Issue. We will have you know in no unequivocal terms that we had left strict instructions that the December Issue was to be the Shopping Issue. You see? You see why we had to take over? Ok… we’ll let this one go… Articles for the AIDS/HIV Issue being now accepted… the deadline is November 15-ish. We understand that deadlines are made to be broken. So, let’s hear from all of you out there.

Oh sweet Nelly… here comes another dejected former editor. Do these people have no sense of style? Who wears Kenneth Cole anymore, we ask you. Hold on while we close the door and talk through the crack of the window with this taciturn, tedious telalaki. 

Mumble… mumble… something about thanking this month’s contributors… mumble... mumble… that they… they’ve managed to shed light on what moves us Ethiopians spiritually… mumble … mumble… And … and… huh? “Eggs are still in?” Mn? Ohhh…. EgzihabEr ysTilin. Oh right. Of course. Thanks y’all.

A moment again please while we march this nitwit to the holding cell. What are we going to do with all of them?

Ok. Anything else we need to cover? We’ll be busy redecorating this hellhole… we are currently severely under-whelmed by a sea of Berber carpet and beige walls… Need we say more?

Great! Yet another editor slithered out from some rock… How does this place function with everybody allowed to just waltz in and voice an opinion? Something about Chat.  ON TUESDAY NOVEMBER 13, 2001 at 7:00 p.m. SHARP.  Something… article… oh, banner article is Life Diaries.

Life what? Yalderesse mn neger ale?  

Opsi doo. We have to run. Time is money and we got plenty of both. We’ll see you next month with the new SELEDA: The Restoration Years. Until then, you can reach us at “their” address for now…

Upper Management.

editors@seleda.com