Top Ten Prescriptions for Homesickness

10.    Go back home... to DC.

9.     Sit tight and wait... and home shall come to you on a DV lottery.

8.     Get real! Your etibt has probably long been unearthed to make room for a three-story villa.

7.     Forget home... do you know if the Yankees beat the Braves last night?

6.     Light a sendel, stick it on a bar of soap while you roast coffee on a flat pan...
        and, gosh, you will feel so at home until... until the smoke alarm reminds you.

5.     What's seasickness but what you feel when you are at sea... and what's homesickness
        but what you feel when you are at home... so you are not sick at all... $119.00, please.

4.     Nothing like the smell of ye shnkurt Qullet to bring back the sense of home... and to
        carry it around in your hair, on your leather jacket and on your plush car seats.

3.     Hang out at the endless lines at the local INS. The local DMV may do just as well.

2.     Get yourself a sounds-of-the-wilderness screen saver and set it to the distant howling of a heyena.

1.     Play a game with yourself where you ask... How do you say "contact lense solution" in Amharic?
        How do you say "internet access" in Amharic? How do you say "stock options"?
        Heck, how do you say "hello" in Amharic... Is it twelve "dehna neh?"s or twenty-three?