Note from the Editors.

There are certain things we here at SELEDA believe God created to ease the torment and CHnq that routinely befalls us mortals: Weizero Amakelech’s brz, "Last Call" at Neiman’s, Gigi singing Adwa and, His most charitable contribution to mankind, endowing Upper Management with the attention span of a worm in heat.

No sooner had our fird-less leaders lead the exhortatory "revolution" last month that hailed in a "gentler yet robustly fabulous" SELEDA Era, than they lost interest in the darn thing. "Oooooffff!" they said. "Oooofff! YihE neger sidebrrrrrrrrr…"

Eh… hello?

… Not that we said much when decorators flew back and forth at a dizzying speed, and soon our walls were painted in colors with names such as Wez Ader Yellow, Grazmach Green, Mehal Sefari Blue and, in a final defilement of thinking people everywhere, ICS Mauve.

… Not that we didn’t try to squeeze out unnerved smiles when the chic Abiyotawiis greeted us at the door with "I am a happy SELEDA SerateNa, My name is _______" name tags before leading us through newly installed metal detectors.

…Not that we did not look the other way and pretend to hear voices as they debated with ease which celebrity editor should edit "The Ethiopian Nouveau Riche: Deadly New Disease or Harmless Diversion? " Issue.

M’Ts. Tadiya mn yaregal! Sidet kiffu neger.

Soon, however, hamot inna chocolate soufflé biqoym ynessal indylu, we were this [place index finger against thumb] close to revolting when Upper Management lost its lovin’ feeling and caught the seven-day itch. After all, running a ‘Zine takes patience, negotiation, compromise, personality… and actually being present.

But the titans of triviality that they are, our bosses (be inqrt lai bad hair day alu!!), decided to launch the SCUD missile that was "Operation Hager Maqnat" from the banks of a hoity-toity resort where everyone is named Jean-Claude somethingorother, and where they had taken shelter after 7 tedious days of … "Abo tewun! GEtachin’m be sebateNaw qen arfuwal qerto iNa".

As the gentleman who directs traffic outside Medhanialem puts it, "Piss-liss, sewetch. Piss-liss!"

Eshi, is it us… just us who are anguished by stuff like this?? Or… tell us the truth, are we suffering from Battered Editors Syndrome?

Ehhh… can someone.. ehh… ok… ooooffff!

Welcome, SELEDAwiyan, to the AIDS/HIV Issue.

We suffered sensible trepidations about even having this issue… we are, after all, angole zelzalas with a proven track record of literary… er, drivel and burlesque prose. But even we, the IQ’ed with very big tiny numbers, realize that something is askew here. The gravitas that is AIDS/HIV is a harbinger of things to come, and we either walk the walk or prepare to be judged by history.

And so, in our little way, we have tried to contribute to the dialogue. As always, we are deeply indebted to our readers and writers who rallied around our attempt and "ayzon"ed us through incertitude. We are especially grateful to our contributors and participants from Ethiopia who helped us make this a relevant issue.

So, what is new at SELEDA?

In the midst of all this "coup de crap" as the events of last month have been so dubbed, in the middle of bedlam reminiscent of the law and order outside Gihon Hotel pool right after the annual changing of the water, we welcome a new editor to SELEDA… Don’t .. DO NOT believe rumors that he was er, coerced into this editorship… listen, it wasn’t us who were pictured in gabardine bell bottoms, silk shirt opened to here, sporting a far away look and hugging the low q’rinCHaff of a tree at Abadr… aiight! But when the opportunity to blackmail fell upon our laps… well, our laps… what could our laps do???? IndE! Anyhoo, welcome. The more, the merrara-er.

What else is new?

We are giddy..eh, ysemal? G-I-I-D-Y-Y with happiness about our upcoming issues.

The New Year will usher in the Communication Issue, which is NOT, we have been told to tell you, an excuse for you Networking/telecommunications freaks (of course, we use freaks here in the most loving way possible) to plough through your thesis about l’il wires making big noises. However, we welcome your articles and muses about communication… oh, how broad and virginal a territory…communication, and the more delightful miscommunication… with parents, between wives and husbands, friends, and, our favorite, Ethiopian restaurant waitresses who’ve made an art out of abusing certain SELEDA Editors…(The latter is neither izih nor eza, but wusTun le qEss…. we have issues that have issues.) Communication via letters stored in your kabinay… email affairs… bcha the possibilities are endless. Pull up your sleeves and communicate! For more guidance please check out the editor-in-chief’s diktat in the form of anqess’ and mewaqrs.

February will mark the fourth anniversary of the last time a certain SELEDA intern got some, as well as the debut of our (giggle) Sex Issue. You’ll be interested to know, Seledawiyan, that we’ve been engaged in turbulent discussions over whether we are fledgling sexperts, ayn awTa perverts or passive aggressive extroverts. And the conclusion is… yes we are. But that will only get f’chi at the next group therapy. However, we are curious about your take on this - this thing they call Sex. The editor of that issue has some opinions here.

March will hail in the Depression and Ecstasy Issue, finely preambled by the Sex Issue, which we don’t think is a coinki-dinky. Ah, spring. Most people welcome the loveliest of seasons by quliCH quliCH-ing their eyes and celebrating the first rays of sunshine. We… well, spring signals the beginning of the annual SELEDA Backstabbing Contest… but we digress. We are seeking articles about that elusive enclave of ecstasy… that unbridled sources(s) of happiness and life, as well as our (in)human(e) struggle with sorrow, misery… oh, we call it overall wretchedness around here. Finally something we at SELEDA can write about from experience. You need more guidance? Hark! Let’s see what the wana sra askihaj of Hzb Dehninet for Prozac Nation says in this here his fiat.

What else?

Aha! A vacancy at SELEDA…

Job Title: Cover Art Designer

Job Description: To design original artwork for the covers of SELEDA.

Start: Immediately or as soon as your ibdEt quotient has been verified.

Requirements: Ability to "wow" the pants off us while not literally wowing the pants off us, i.e. not a too literal interpretations of our themes.

More requirements: Can be a prima donna or neCHnaCHa. Cannot be both.

Even more requirements: Must be able to deliver artwork by the 15^th of the month or be willing to face webmassa when webmassa has had no coffee.

Salary:…. Hmmm…. Well, …. HAHAHAAHHAHA! Ehem. Artist shall be willing to work for.. tee hee… future SELEDA Stocks. Lots of them. Lots of shiny, happy SELEDA stocks.

Apply to: editors@seleda.com

What else?

It is high time, the Visual Graphics and Department of Upholders of No Virtues tell us through a very terse memo, for a new look for SELEDA. Hooo-wai? We ask in askance ‘coz you couldn’t get us to do extra work if you paid us. They just narrowed their eyes very menacingly and vowed to make us, (and we quote) "fessachihun masCHeress." Wui! Yemin sew k’w mareg new! Like, is that empirically possible? Is it quantifiable? What a smashingly nebulous theory… so, pungent yet sassy… buttery yet diffident….

OK. We know it’s time to go when we get all scatological like that.

As always, we look forward to hearing from you about what you think of the articles you’ve read, what you think about the restoration of "Deemo" as the national past time (by that we mean the real Deemo… before they changed the name to "Pepsi" and made it a game for wussies), what you think about sacrificing virgins, and finally, what you think about awazE as a dip for your crudités. Feel free to use the Comment Box thingy, or email us at editors@seleda.com.

Melkam yeferenj Genna, Seledawiyan, and may the ferenj New Year bring us joy, happiness and a myqebT/imayaqbeTebT NASDAQ.

Selam inihun.

The Humble Editors.

editors@seleda.com