The Paranoia and ... Issue

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Irony and Platitudes: November 2003

True story. A couple of city slickers - tagging a translator/relative - walk along one of Ethiopia's rural roads, intent on scaling the heights of a distant mountain. In the other direction comes a short, slim, peasant - dark of skin, economic of movement, noble of bearing, stoic of expression. Peasant herds cattle. City slickers, swaying and gasping under weight of sweater, JVC Camcorder, HP Digital Camera and anticipation of tangible goal accomplishment, beam smiles of benevolent superiority at peasant. Gap closes. Herd starts acting in a manner that can be technically termed "freaking out". Translator/Relative asks peasant why herd is "freaking out". With no hesitation, peasant responds. City Slickers smile and greet peasant. Peasant gives measured bowing of head. After peasant passes, city slickers ask translator/relative what peasant said. translator/relative says peasant said herd is freaking out "perhaps because they saw a couple of monks." "Monks?" city slickers ask. "Yes, Monks." relative/translator affirms. "But we saw no monk!" city slickers say. Translator/relative says (after some thought) "Ah, but hereabouts, monk is a term peasants use to describe someone who does no physical work."... City slickers STILL believe they were being praised.

Take that as your starting point, and see if this inspires you to tell us your tales of irony. And the ironic is, more often than not, wrapped in the platitudinous - as obvious as a geTaTa Trs in its insincerity, dull as a duldum msmar in its witticism. Our traditions, and our languages are full of either stuff, and yet there is this marked absence of a recognition of the ironic in our interactions. Ply us with (about) platitudes and let your innate mSet sense draw you to that vein of iron. Please, since enderswo man alena? , let those trapped lifetime of scars loose and send them our way. By October 20, 2003.

Fathers and Sons, Fathers and Daughters; & Mothers and Daughters and Mothers and Sons: December 2003

For once... it is not your computer gone crazy. For once... it is not wanton ampersandphilia on our part. And no... we are fairly certain it is not overfermented ye gush Tela acting on your eyes. And a final no... we are certainly not shunning the word "family." This is an issue for exploring the one to one of parent and child. We wish you to tell us about THE special relationship with THE parent. About those moments when you suddenly become friends, or recognize a jerk in the other. Or when a father suddenly ceases being superman and becomes merely... a man. Or when heartbreak is shared with a mother. Or about the never fulfilled desire to satisfy a real, or imagined, expectation. Seeing as to how the characters are limited, some might inform us that the possibilities are finite. But we know the realities are infinite. Please allow yourselves to be inspired by a father-figure or mother-figure, and then just configure something. As long as the something is articulate, we want it. ASAYesterday before November 20.

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