| To: |
SELEDA Staff staff@seleda.com |
| From: |
Editor-in-Chief aleqa1@seleda.com |
| Subject: |
CONFIDENTIAL MEMO October Issue |
|
| |
As you know, it is now Friday, October something and the October
Issue has not come out., still! This has upset some of us in management. It simply
will NOT DO. Lenegeroo my damn intern forgot to turn my desk calendar to October
so I just assumed that it was September 33rd today. Well, it is not, people! I need
a stat report, stat! What world are you people in? |
| |
| Peace, love and unity, |
| ? |
| -aleqa1 |
| ----------------------------------------------------------------------- |
| |
| To: |
staff@seleda.com |
| From: |
editor4.1@seleda.com |
| Subject: |
RE: CONFIDENTIAL MEMO October Issue |
| |
--- u u tiyE! demmo "editor in chief"! dnqEm! Hahaha have you heard
him trying to pronounce "mononucleosis"? ewi-ewi-ewi! |
| |
| --------------------------------------------------------------------- |
| |
| To: |
staff@seleda.com |
| From: |
editor#5@seleda.com |
| Subject: |
RE: CONFIDENTIAL MEMO October Issue |
| |
hee hee, editor 4.1! BSLN. (be saq lmot new).
And what's with the dangling metaphor? according to slim young thing in PR that ain't
the only thing "dangling" if you get my drift. |
| |
| Let peace reign. |
| /chuchu |
| |
| p.s. what October issue? Uh-oh! |
| |
| -------------------------------------------------------------------- |
| |
| To: |
editor#5@seleda.com; editor4.1@seleda.com;
staff@seleda.com |
| From: |
marketingbabe@seleda.com |
| Subject: |
RE: CONFIDENTIAL MEMO October Issue |
| |
| Hey, has anyone seen my red comb? |
| |
| Love and kisses to all, |
| |
| K |
| "Remember to make each day count" |
| |
| p.s. is Seleda still actually still alive? WeinE! Inneza sewech aydekmachewum indE? |
| |
| -------------------------------------------------------------------- |
| |
| To: |
editor#5@seleda.com; editor4.1@seleda.com;
staff@seleda.com; marketingbabe@seleda.com |
| From: |
comptroller@seleda.com |
| Subject: |
RE: CONFIDENTIAL MEMO October Issue |
| |
| Dear Everybadee, |
| |
I greet you in the name of our Holy ffatther, the crature of all the werlid.
Thank you for your messages to me. I likee the electronik mail (e-mail). |
| |
I wan't to say this to you: Plz make shore that you're "expensive accounts" is
submitteded by meskerem, 22, 1996. plz, don't call me at my house number to tell
me that you cann'tsubmitted your expensive account (EA). Specially this weekend.
I will be at my church's sebekka gubaye meeting all of the day from 2 o-clok in the
morning to 5 o-clok in the evening. Then my wife's setoch mehaber is having a
tseabel sadeeqq. If anyone of you go to Gebriyale church, please come and attend
subaye Sunday, at 11:00 in the o'clok in the morning with Kess Melekote-Sallam Bisate
Sillassie Gebreweld. When I say Gebrel, it is the "new" Gebriel, not the one on state
Street. The one in Hampton street behind Abbisiniya Restaurant and acrosssed the street
from Filoha Liqor store. It is in the same mall that houses Addis Ababa Injera House.
Come one. Come all, as we say. (-smiling face-) |
| |
Also, tenk you to all off you who have well-comed me as the new
contoller in the accounting dipartment. I am new to accaounting, but not to saleda,.
Like I said, I am new to the accountating. but I worked as equb astedadari in
Ethiopia for five yers. I am happy that the new seleda bosses select me as the
new controler. most of you can remeber me as the café assistennt. But now,
the new seleda bosses make me controler because they like "ekulinet". They tell me
I was "opresseded" in the past yers. but now, I am anti-oppresseded, tenk to them and Gishen
Mariyam. |
| |
May the blessing of cherKoss be with all of you. And remember
that expensive accounts sambmission date. |
| |
| Kidus amlak yitebbikachiu. |
| |
| Wendimachiu, |
| |
| Mekuwannint A (Abayneh) Atalaye. |
| |
| ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
| |
| To: |
editor#5@seleda.com; editor4.1@seleda.com;
staff@seleda.com; marketingbabe@seleda.com; comptroller@seleda.com |
| From: |
writer6@seleda.com |
| Subject: |
RE: CONFIDENTIAL MEMO October Issue |
| |
| --m'Ts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
| |
| -am I one of the hope-pressed! |
| |
p.s. from what I heard in the bathroom, October issue is coming out. November
issue is called the "Irony and Platitude Issue". We are looking for writers,
if anyone is interested. I know I am not. In case you want to submit a piece,
send it to editors@seleda.com. for guidance, please look to 50lomi.
Too bad there ain't no irony-cal goings
on here at "Saleda"
|
| |
| ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
| To: |
editor#5@seleda.com; editor4.1@seleda.com; staff@seleda.com;
marketingbabe@seleda.com writer6@seleda.com comptroller@seleda.com |
| From: |
writer10@seleda.com |
| Subject: |
RE: CONFIDENTIAL MEMO October Issue |
| |
So. What do I do if my "expensive accounts" are cheap? And is meskerem
22 george washington's birthday? |
| |
| Sheeeeeeeet. |
| |
Writer 6 will try to round up writers for the Irony and Platitude
Issue. I, personally, am looking forward to the December "Fathers and Sons; mothers
and Daughters, fathers and daughters, and, mothers and sons" issue. Which
freakin' genius came with THAT title? |
| |
| -Cherkos Lover 2 |
| ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
| To: |
editor#5@seleda.com; editor4.1@seleda.com;
staff@seleda.com; marketingbabe@seleda.com;
writer6@seleda.com; writer10@seleda.com; comptroller@seleda.com |
| From: |
editor7@seleda.com |
| Subject: |
RE: CONFIDENTIAL MEMO October Issue |
| |
| |
Hey, writer 10! Ke ekuyah gar! I came up with the December issue. I know you
have issues with women taking control and that you still think that we women
should be barefoot and pregnant and just cater to your every need. Well, buster!
This is NOT some backwater country. And we women have achieved as much as you men.
So, don't go blasting off your misogynistic BS around here, buster! If you don't
like the title of the December Issue, then GET OVER IT! Today's woman just does
not live to service you! We are in authority, and we won't take it lying down! |
| |
| |
Editor #7.. A woman!!!!! |
| ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
| |
| To: |
editor7@seleda.com; editor#5@seleda.com;
editor4.1@seleda.com; staff@seleda.com; marketingbabe@seleda.com;
writer6@seleda.com; writer10@seleda.com; comptroller@seleda.com |
| From: | writer10@seleda.com |
| Subject: | RE: CONFIDENTIAL MEMO October Issue |
| |
| NefsE, Editor #7: |
| |
| Will you take it standing up? |
| |
| Ke akbrot gar, |
| |
| -your future husband #3 and parttime lover, |
| 10 |
| ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
| |
| To: |
editor7@seleda.com; editor#5@seleda.com;
editor4.1@seleda.com; staff@seleda.com; marketingbabe@seleda.com;
writer6@seleda.com; riter10@seleda.com; writer10@seleda.com;
comptroller@seleda.com |
| From: |
editor3@seleda.com |
| Subject: |
RE: CONFIDENTIAL MEMO October Issue |
| |
|
| Ok, ee-z guys. Calm down. BTW, why do we editors make more than you writers? |
| Just curious. |
| |
|
| Me. |
| Is Gebriel 2 "new and improved"? |
| |
| ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
| |
| To: |
editor3@seleda.com; editor7@seleda.com;
editor#5@seleda.com; editor4.1@seleda.com; staff@seleda.com;
marketingbabe@seleda.com; writer6@seleda.com; writer10@seleda.com;
writer10@seleda.com; comptroller@seleda.com |
| From: |
comptroller@seleda.com |
| Subject: |
RE: CONFIDENTIAL MEMO October Issue |
| |
| Dear Me, and Dear Everyone, |
| |
Me, I have a sertayin doubtfilled that you name is not " Me".
But I will address you as that because you are my sister in the heavenly eyes of sillassaywech. |
| |
| Greetings to all my Ethiopian Brothers and Sisters also on Saleddea. |
| |
As the guy (you can call me like a "guy" because I am one of you) , as I was
saying, as the GUY in charged and entrusted with being controller-in-controll of
Seleedan funds, I have to (with sadness weigh-ing my heart) that salarys of
everybadee is strictly confidensshal. What that mean is that I can no't confirmed
that the writers of Salseeda and the editors of Seledaaa are not paid ekuall. I
can not also tell you who make more monies than who. That is a secret. Like the
walls inside of aksum tsion, the secrets have to die in my hearts. I can n't even
tell my wife the secrets of salary of staff of selledidda. . so, forgive me,
Editor Me. I cann't not answer your question, which I assume is directly for me. |
| |
I like the electronic rmail correspondences of ours. (e-mail.)
although I have troubl understand writer #10 (I am sorry my Ethiopian Brother,
you did not state clearly your name, so I have to call you by your electric mail
name, which is Writer 10.) writer 10, I cannot answer also your question of
standing up to take it with editor 7, who is my sister in Ethiopian unity.
because, what do you want to take? If it is your "EA" (as I stated before, the
term/word EA stands for Expensive Accountes ), I said in my prevyes elelectronicc
mail, that everyone at Seleeedina has to sam-meet it by meskerem 22. a question
was asked if that was George Washington's berth-day. I am sorry again, that is a
queschin that I don't know. Perhaps someone can answer it. Is Mr. Washington in
the Sellledaa writers groups or the editors groups? Maybe someone can asked him
about his berth-day. If it is, then HAPPY BERTH-DAY, Ato Washington. (I call you
Ato becassue I concidder you as an Ethiopian brother.) |
| |
The last quesschin that I cann't not answer is "what if my expensive accounts
are cheap"? it is very complikate quesschin, that I did not understand too well.
Maybe the pwerson can call me at my X-tension and ask me about it. I am at
X-tension 356. If it was a joke, then, ha-ha-ha-ha. It was fully funny.
Please forgive mee. |
| |
| Your brother and Ethiopian compatriot, |
| |
| Ato Mekuwannint A (Abayneh) Atalaye |
| Chief Controllerr |
| Accounting Dipartment |
| Seelida, Inc. |
| X-tension 356 |
| |
| emebetachin mariyam tegen tihunachihu. Amen. |
| |
| --------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
| |
| To: |
SELEDA Staff staff@seleda.com |
| From: |
Editor-in-Chief aleqa1@seleda.com |
| Subject: Back to the October Issue |
| |
| Some of you might have not known this, but when you send mail to staff@seleda.com, I get automatically CC'd. |
| |
So mononucleosis- abatachiu yitfa! Ke memoTameT sira siru esti!
Our readers are waiting for the October Issue!!! Is it coming out soon??? Who is
in charge of that???? |
| |
| Peace, love and unity, |
| -aleqa1 |
| ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
| |
| |
| To: |
SELEDA Staff staff@seleda.com , aleqa1@seleda.com |
| From: |
marketingbabe@seleda.com |
| Subject: |
Re: Back to the October Issue-IMPORTANT MESSAGE |
| Hey guys, |
| |
Just want to make sure you knew that I found my red comb! It was in my bag all
the time. I am sorry I made all the Interns stop working on this Seleda thingy
to look for my comb. They were so nice. But, everyone, everything is ok now.
Can we do something nice for the interns? Pay them or something? I already let
them touch my comb, so I've done my part. |
| |
| K. |
"Live like you mean it, Love like you have not been hurt, Dance like no one is
watching."
p.s. Writer 10 call me! X224 |
| |
| ----------------------------------------------------- |
| |
| To: |
SELEDA Staff staff@seleda.com , aleqa1@seleda.com;
marketingbabe@seleda.com |
| From: |
editor666@seleda.com |
| Subject: |
Re: Back to the October Issue-IMPORTANT MESSAGE |
| |
Yeah, ALEQA1, editor in chief! Who IS in
charge of Seleda? I mean, Salssaliiililil-friggin'-ddaaa?!!!!! |
| |
| --------------------------------------------------------------- |
| |
| To: |
SELEDA Staff staff@seleda.com; aleqa1@seleda.com;
marketingbabe@seleda.com; editor666@seleda.com |
| From: |
editor777@seleda.com |
| Subject: |
Re: Back to the October Issue-IMPORTANT MESSAGE |
| |
Hey you bunch of elitist drones! WerE bicha! There is so much snobbery and
hot air in this place that you can sail a balloon with it! Go back to your
condescension group therapy!! Pretentiousness is very so yesterday! So is gbizinet! |
| |
| -7x3 |
| Dance for equality in front of everyone, live with frugality and love egalitarianism! |
| ------------------------------------------------------------------- |
| |
| To: |
SELEDA Staff staff@seleda.com; aleqa1@seleda.com;
marketingbabe@seleda.com; editor666@seleda.com; editor777@seleda.com |
| From: |
editrix-11@seleda.com |
| Subject: |
Re: Back to the October Issue-IMPORTANT MESSAGE |
| |
Exxxcuuuuuuuuse me, Editor 777! Who lit up your Twaff from the wrong end?
And who killed Marx and made you the champion of the undeodorized masses?
Whaaaatttttttt-soooo---ever!!!!!! |
| |
BTW, for those, yihE ye'mimeleketachew, we are having our weekly Imported Car
Owners meeting next Friday. I am bringing my squash casserole. Anyone else? |
| |
| _ihitachu, |
| |
| M. |
| |
-Dance in comfortable shoes, like (or love) even people who vacation
domestically, and don't consider it living if you don't have a Platinum American Express |
| |
| ---------------------------------------------------------------------- |
| |
| To: |
SELEDA Staff staff@seleda.com; aleqa1@seleda.com;
marketingbabe@seleda.com editor666@seleda.com, editor777@seleda.com;
editrix-love@seleda.com |
| From: |
Editor8.9@seleda.com |
| Subject: |
Re: Back to the October Issue-IMPORTANT MESSAGE |
| |
|
>> I am bringing my squash casserole. Anyone else? << |
| |
| Thank you, Editrix. Will be there. Will bring petite kitfo burritos. |
| -------------------------------------------------------- |
| |
| To: |
SELEDA Staff staff@seleda.com; aleqa1@seleda.com;
marketingbabe@seleda.com; editor666@seleda.com, editor777@seleda.com;
editrix-love@seleda.com; Editor8.9@seleda.com |
| From: |
editor777@seleda.com |
| Subject: |
Re: Back to the October Issue-IMPORTANT MESSAGE |
|
Hey, that's next Friday??? Totally blanked out. Thanks. Will be there, too. I'll bring the liquor. |
| |
| -7x3 |
| Dance for equality in front of everyone, live with frugality and love egalitarianism! |
| |
| ------------------------------------------------------------------ |
| |
| |
Due to excessive use of email by SELEDA Staff for distinctly non-qum negerish
communiqué, personal email addresses have now been disabled. If our
readers would like to reach us, please email us at editors@seleda.com |
| |
| The Humble Editors. |
