If you are able to extrapolate at least three meanings from the phrase, “indEt aderachiu”… then you might be a P-ET

If you’ve said with any measure of certainty that all the ferenjies in Ethiopia are “CIDwech”… then you might be a P-ET

If you douse your children in qba qduss before you let them swim in the pool at the gym… then you might be a P-ET

If you avert your eyes quickly and mamateb furiously whenever you meet the gaze of a particularly dark complexioned person…then you might be a P-ET

If you are convinced that your computer’s chagrined wuqabi started the Melissa virus because all bad things happen to you and you alone…then you might be a P-ET

If you can’t remember the last time you used your real name on an application form… then you might be a P-ET

If you travel 60 miles into the countryside with your qess in tow to have him bless the Oklahoma berE for your monthly Lideta qrCHa because you don’t want no non-Orthodox “mnamintE” handling your meat…then you might just be a P-ET.

If you never go anywhere at noon for fear of running into ye qeTr aganintoch who you just know stroll on Broadway… then you might be a P-ET.

If you file for a transfer at HR after your colleague from the adjacent cubicle inquired about your weekend…then you might be a P-ET.

If you send out a little prayer like “Iyesus aderahin arebiNa atasemaN,” before you turn on your radio…then you might be a P-ET.

If you recognize the Buddha statue on your Indian friend’s nightstand as the very budda that “ate” Weizero Dinfinshewa, your old sefer wefCHo bEt owner thereby hexing the wefCHo and running her out of business…then you might just be a P-ET.

If it is routine for you to always ask someone’s name, yabat sim, ye ayat sim and won’t stop until you know someone who knows someone who knows them…then you might be a P-ET

If you conclude that your qrb wedaj hates your family because he does not ask you about your ten brother and sisters, an’nd be an’nd (“Beza dehna nat? Mammush dehna new? Yosef dehna new? Nadew dehna new? Qonjit dehhna nat?…”)…then you might be a P-ET

If you consider all incoming calls before 8 a.m. to potentially bear merdo… then you might be a P-ET

If you accuse your doctor of being a “tussss yale wereNa” because he asked you your family medical history (“InnEn eshi, AbatE dem bzat norew/alnorew mn abatuuuuu agebaw!”)…then you might be a P-ET

If you are suspicious of anyone who has not lived in Addis Abeba, (“Mn aynet sew new Addis A’ba’n yemayaweq? AyyyCH!”)…then you might be a P-ET