You will have to forgive us, dear readers. Yes, we are late but not because of some lopsided ye innatE meQenet TelfoN new excuse. Nah. It just happens that the aberrantly frolicsome ye semmonu SELEDA upper management, in an ultimate tribute to love and commitment, (and influenced by that magical Ethiopian wedding fever season) decided to get married this past week… to itself.

Frightening? Yes. Uncalled for? Yep. Creepy in a Dr. Raselas kind of way? You betcha! Surprising? 'Ta! Innate demo!

So… there we all were at the Church of the Can't Be Redeemed, some of us flower girls, but most of us unofficial kenfer meTach tazabiis. We had hoped this would be a quick soiree and were aghast that the pre-nup cocktail hour actually ran five hours, as upper management divvied up SELEDA right in front of us. As if, ladies and gentlemen, as if this union is in any danger of matrimonial medefress. The unsubstantiated rumor du-moment was that the pastor does divorces as well (specializing in ke ras yeteTalu cases)… and we thought we heard someone chortle about a "two-for-one" deal. Whoo-wai people have to mesheQeb cupid?

It was a disorienting affair, what with all the multi personalities of all our multi personalities congregated in one place, it took us a little while to recalibrate. We apologize for the delay in bringing out this issue.

Dehna senebetachiulN, SELEDAwiyan?

Welcome to the Food and Drink Issue! For those of us who feed on words, this has been a gluttonous buffet thanks to our contributors. AbEt QunTan… abet QunTan. Once again, we are humbled by they who can make us dribble incoherently. There is us, recalcitrant n'er do wells, and then the Great Glacier Divide, and then the perfection that are our contributors. Frozen in the middle is common sense as to why we ever thought we were worthy of their words. May they accept our ye weferE gratitude. Amen… amen…

Next month will be our first No Theme Issue since the whole theme thing started. All of you who have stashed articles away in your cranial Qum saT'n, hoping that we run out of them damn themes, well, here's your chance. Carpe this rare moment of control un-freakishness, and let it rip. No holds barred, 'cept 'oletika, of course, and help us make the July/August issue a true double issue. Deadline for submitting articles is June 15 except for those who insist on being brazenly impudent…and in that case June 15 ½ is OK.

So, what's new at SELEDA?

Well, how delighted were we when Editor #XXRNb, freshly off a seventh 12-step program, came up with a proper way of archiving past SELEDA articles! You see? Never underestimate the power of boredom and/or superlative addictions. Check out the link at the end of your favorite feature, let's say My Story, and, gud of all guds, here comes a list of all past My Stories! Tadiyamma indEt yihonal? And, thus, SELEDA pries open yet another cyber door that has always been tebergio open.

SELEDA Chat, the unbridled ibdet be ibret (©Szaninetitu) that it has become will be back with a vengeance on Tuesday, June 19, at 7:00 p.m. East Coast Time. We hope to see you there, and this time we hope to steer clear from trying to translate "sperm bank" in Amharic (final consensus: Ye HaTyat Goterra.) Our banner article this month will be The Taste. We'll discuss it thoroughly before we inevitably digress into something laudably inconsequential. Join us.

What else is new?

Ere Qoi…

We have a major bone to pick with you, you Washint Generation!! Yes, we may think we are all literate and cool like that, but ostensibly we are also too damn lazy to go to the post office and send in a check and some stamps to help a good cause. The humanity! How could it be that after dismissing our counterparts in Awropa as charlatans with Green Card Envy, that it is them who have ended up as showing clear support for the first SELEDA Fun-Fun raiser! Huh? Huh? We owe AwroPawii SELEDAwiis a great deep apology (damn, we hate doing that) and urge the good ol' US of A SELEDAwiis to join the fray!! Besmeab! Maybe we should just move ourselves to Awropa--upper management will be happy to learn about the "open marriage" rules they have down there. Incidentally, we would like to thank profusely Meseret Taye for being the first person to get in her donation. Mesu… beQa… Meseret is now the official SELEDA Queen until one of them cyber-abiots comes along. So, in with the Zemene B'rhan and let's all do the right thing. We promise that next time we have something like this to make it easier for you to pay through the Internet. Until then, show your love. We need you.

What else?

SELEDA Editors Retreat will be happing in July where we hope that one of the main goals we accomplish (besides trying to convince Editor Xxna "Left Eye" VVM that nifTam and nefTeNa are two different things) is mapping out themes for the next several months. You are, of course, welcome to chime in and put forth your ideas for themes. And, no, there ain't going to be the Sex issue, because, you shall remember, we are still er, struggling with that stuff. Besides, we have yet to see Quills as was recommended. Nope. No hope for us.

Again, nothing makes us happier than a bottle of cheap likker and reading your reactions to articles. (Cheap likker while reading your letters…. Ahhh…. Don't toy with us!) Write to us at editors@seleda.com, or go to our comment box. We not only look forward to your comments but to your articles. Guidelines for writers can be found here.

With that we bid you adieu. We have to attend the Melss for the society wedding of the century. All of us have been invited to say something about it, and we are trying to say "Do you people not get the execrable crappiness of this?" without sounding so…mean.

Upper management is registered at Bergdorf's.

Cher ygTemen.

The Humble Editors

editors@seleda.com

Want to see more of the same? Click here for past notes from the editors.