To All the Nazret Women We have Loved…An Ode

This being SELEDA's Love Issue, we thought Cupid would hold major qm against us if we did not address a…thorny issue that has become a source of great consternation to a segment of our readers.

Few things shock us, SELEDAwiyan, but we felt like mich yemetaw Tasa after being on the receiving end of a series of mail from Nazret School Alums excoriating us for remarks we made that could be construed as… we dunno, insanely, appallingly mean-spirited.

Ma? INa? Mean-spirited? Nyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyver!

Nonetheless, January 25 will forever be remembered in infamy around the SELEDA Mail Room, for it was a day that galvanized the Nazret cyber CHmq tewagii's, who made it clear that they were not going to take our diarrhea lisan sitting down! Good for them!

Truth be told, we stand chastened at somehow (how, we dunno) having managed to offend the women of Nazret. Infinitely patient people they, we must have really crossed some line to warrant the handprints on our cheeks. Aiii, yeNa neger!

Demo iNan b'lo inesun sedabii! Ere aymechim! We are, after all, lovers not fighters.

To mastekakel this slight, we scoured the January issue looking for Nazret aff illafis we might have dub-dub madreg-ed carelessly. None were found, which, knowing how easily we get confounded, was very confounding. It took a brilliant young intern to point out to us that the gud yageban sentence was from December, which just happened to be the immemorable Humor Issue. Aha! There, safely ensconced as one of the fictional reasons "Why the Chicken Crossed the Road", was the offending morsel. Tadia mn teshalen? (And, how do we explain that that jab was directed at our mozaza ad infinitum Mail Editor? We won't try.)

Bicha… wede qum negeru…

***

"THE PITCH…"

Sent: January 25, 2001 15:42:44
From: concerned@NYC.com

Certainly my impression of Seleda was that the publication would seek to serve the Ethiopian community using a neutral and fair approach. This so-called approach should hold true not only on political issues but also on gender, ethnic, and class issues. I personally do not appreciate your demeaning and belittling remark about Nazareth School students and your allegation that we are promiscuous. It clearly shows how moronic your reasoning is.

We are in the 21st century and have fought long and hard for our sexual liberation. Whom we have sex with is a personal matter- It is, after all, our prerogative. Secondly, our sexual appetites are not reflective or indicate of how we were raised. Asadagi Yebedelachew? Because we are having sex? Shame on you. As they say you can take a nigger out of the ghetto but you can't take the ghetto out of him. The problem with you Ethiopian men is that regardless of your education or exposure, you still hold that chiQa mentality; that its unbecoming for women to follow their libido. I assume your definition of CHewa Seyt is not someone that can have sex and take care of herself but someone demure; aynuan yedefach shemQaQa. Of course, in the meantime, you are running around trying to sleep or [are] sleeping with everything that walks in a skirt. Because, after all, it's all about penetration! The endless obsession of the unromantic Ethiopian. Where to stick it. As if…

The double standard is dumbfounding.

And if the person who wrote this comment is a woman, then I am even more disappointed. Stop playing virginal and self-righteous. One Ethiopian sister back-stabbing another is disheartening. Certainly not what we are looking for when we get online to read SELEDA. No wonder we constantly play "Kukulu" with our Ethiopian community. This judgmental and sexist attitude is precisely what you should try to expunge.

You have lost my respect.

For those of you SELEDA "contributors", (its time we reevaluate what you are really contributing), struggling with your sexuality, I suggest you see Quills, a very timely and appropriate movie about the French struggle with sexual expression and repression. At least the French dealt with theirs in the 17th century. Hey, you are only few centuries behind; you may still be able to catch up. Meanwhile, we will continue to have sex and enjoy it too!!!!!

The Editors try to reply:

Eh… where you girls at???

Ehem. Esti sine s'rat…

Lemehonoo… mn QorTon? Mn QuriT-rT-rT argon? We?… how?… indEt?… ma?… Good NIGHT! What just happened there? (Note to selves: Watch "Quills" with non-virginal French friends.)

***

"THE SWING…"

Sent: January 25, 2001 13:02:055
From: [expletive deleted by non-liberated seleda editor@hotmail.com

This is in response to your remark about Nazareth School Students' promiscuity: Excuse my blunder, but at least we are getting it, honey-REGULARLY. When was the last time you blew off some steam? I suggest you undersexed, desperate dorks lay off our dear and beloved Nazareth school.

Editors try to respond:

Hmmmm. When was the last time? Quick polling of staff… And the winner is… Editor #14. Got to second base with someone who is NOT in any way affiliated to Nazret School. Editor #14 becomes de facto SELEDA Stud Muffin. (To most of us, second base'n lnimeN Qerto… ay-hey-hey! )

***

"THE 'Ms.' …"

Sent: January 26, 2001 14:05:17
From: becky@realwomen.com
(edited for language that made our toes curl. Phrases in parenthesis ad libbed by Editors to best reflect the writers' sentiment. )

We hear that you are calling Nazareth students promiscuous. Well, we live in a very small city and we know a thing or two about you SELEDA editors. Sorry if we don't want to play with your [er… Trivial Pursuit game]. Don't take your rejections and insecurities out on us. It's a little passive aggressive. I think you should stick to what you do best-- [hmmm… pruning your Bonsai trees]. Let those of us who know how to [ahh… make merry] play the field. Trust us, we don't want your stinky [apparatus].

The Editors try to respond:
The Qil irass and apparently undersexed specimen that we are (lest we forget our ostensibly negligible er, apparatus) we were, again, confounded by why our last sister would counter-attack allegations of promiscuity WITH declarations of… Never mind.

Well, we've put in our places. SELEDA upper management, which will jump at any reason to muzzle us, has henceforth imposed a moratorium on ALL references to Nazret School. Beqa! That's it. SELEDA will no longer be allowed to mention/megoshem/utter/whisper/intimate/insinuate anything about N.S. Certainly, our loss for being such meren yeteleQeQu liq affs. YibeleN! We wept in contrition. Wept, we tell you. But nothing doing.

So, in the name of that elusive thing they call love and fqr, dngai teshekimenal… yiqrta le igziher… We owe you azzpiro for the ras mittat.

Happy Valentine's Day!

The Editors
editors@seleda.com

P.S. Our sister, "Concerned in NY", we love your style. Join the madness and let us know if you wanna take a stab at being a Life Diarist? Gid yelem. You can vent. You know where to find us, we assume?