So….. how many times have you heard Ethiopians whine about being single?
"MegenaNa Tefa" … "he/she is too ferenjie"…
"she has a restraining order against me?"…
Oh, whaddo we know? Make up your own minds. SELEDA proudly presents our 30
Questions to the tiliq sews at EthioMatch.
| 1) How and where did you come up with the idea to create EthioMatch.com,
and how much alcohol was involved? |
"Lene yemihon yelem-gena altefeTerem" "Salageba Arejehu!"
"Have you seen Kebede's new shinKurt (young) wife from
Ethiopia? Wezeterefe…….. We have heard it all. A
growing number of Ethiopians are finding it difficult to meet compatible
people amidst their busy lifestyles. Some even have tried to bring a companion
from Ethiopia, and got disappointed with the outcome. But we believe that
there are wonderful men and women right amongst us in North America. We
are confident that our service (EthioMatch) will help the community by bringing
folks together in a non-threatening and logistically feasible manner. |
| 2) Say it actually works: what will we tell the zemed-azmad
when they ask how we met? |
First off, that is a very ferenj question. It is often the
follow up to "What a nice day out there!" However, if you were
ever to be on the witness stand, you can explain "Just Ethio com com
tebablen ezih deresin". Boom boom! When people find the
right relationship, when and how they met is the least of the issues. |
| 3) How kinky can the personal information people submit get? For example,
what of those who like to be slowly stroked from head to toe with a sheaf
of shmbra'shet dipped in… well, you get the point. |
Bewnetu, kinky is in the eye of the kinker. Ye shmbra
'shet sheaf falls under therapeutic massage in our books. If a select
group of folks insist on visiting the wild side, we will cross that bridge
when we get there. We will surely notify your upper management if/when such
is the case. |
| 4) How many of you in the Management are actually in solid, happy relationships?
Or is this just a clever way for you to get hooked up YOURSELVES, inante? |
Technically, all of us are in solid relationships. We can't claim that
all of us are utterly happy in our relationships. Incidentally, hamet about
the motives of one of EthioMatch founders bezto neber. It
turns out he is presently in a stable and happy relationship. EthioMatch
founders, nonetheless, declare that, "If we find a better person than
our current partners, "beCHeretaw angededim". |
| 5) In a year's time what would constitute a success for you? Should
we anticipate the first EthioMatch wedding? Bitter divorce? Lawsuit? |
We will eagerly await for the day where we will be hearing less of "Le'ene
yemihon gena altefeTerem". C'mon, the Lord ain't that boring
- he has a great sense of humor. We just need to take seeking a friend as
seriously as we do sports events or soap operas, and things will start falling
in place. |
| 6) What, in your experience, is the NUMBER ONE thing Ethiopians want
from the other sex (other than semai mdr adebelalaqi sex - that is)? |
Unpretentious and unconditional friendship, love followed by compassion
and respect. |
| 7) Why do you think we Ethiopians believe romance is dead? It is dead,
right? |
On the contrary! We Ethiopians acknowledge the challenge of meeting that
special someone. But, we don't believe romance is dead. When one finds his/her
soul mate, life would be rewarding and exciting. At times we see people
treating romance like a win or lose game and that sets the stage for imminent
disappointment. When you use so much of your time and energy contemplating
the negative things about your prospective mate, it may not leave you much
room to develop understanding and nurture a relationship. Romance is there,
where it used to be. We have unfortunately been diverted by Hollywood and
alike to take lust and power as surrogates for romance. That bites. We need
to regroup and give romance a second try. |
| 8) Is it true you send out the QEra gang on a complaining/dissatisfied
customer? |
If you mean the men with the plastic bags, you're right on.
We don't take no for an answer.Absolutely not! We will try our best to satisfy
all of our customers. |
| 9) Do you let ugly people put up their picture too, or do you at least
give a warning? |
For starters, Ethiopiawinet and ugly don't go hand in hand.
Yelema! At least when it comes to the looks. As for the ugliness
of attitude or behavior, we think urban Darwinism will lead such souls away
from such a well-meant site. We trust the judgment of the participants will
filter out the ignoble. |
| 10) Does the Ethiopian biological clock run slower, just like yabesha
qeTero? |
Unfortunately not. We have many thirty-some-thinger friends who share
some frustration about how the clock is gonging but the pursuit of their
career goals and social obligations have not allowed for the conception
of a family yet. We hope this service will be of some value to these folks. |
|
11) Do you think love and marriage have anything to do with each other?
Maletim, is love a necessary condition to have a good match?
|
Yes. We believe marriage that has love as its foundation, will be stronger,
long lasting, and rewarding. But love is not enough to commit to a relationship.
Values and other compatibility issues must be present in order to have a
successful relationship. Compatibility can stem from common background,
future goals and the shade of personality as well. The more compatible you
are, the more likely it will be that you will fall in love with each other.
Look at the article on our website about successful marriage. |
|
12) Can you give us your best ferenjized, modernized translation of
the following:
a) "SergeNa meTa berberE qenTsu"?
b) "Weg new sidaru malqes"?
c) "Ye kenfer wedaj"?
d) "Ye CHn gered"?
e) "T'm Qemai"?
|
a) The groom is here, get the pre-nup signed and the counselor on stand
by.
b) Malqes ain't kool no mo.
c) Monica ?
d) Jennifer Flowers?
e) Come again - what the #%$@ |
| 13) Have you thought of affiliating yourselves with "ye fqr
gTm drset agelglot"? If so, how much would you charge per verse?
|
Not yet but to be considered. You think 2 Tegera birr will
be fair? |
| 14) Here's a typical Ethiopian singles scenario…. Let's say someone
from EthioMatch dates someone from SELEDA (ayadirsibachiu'inna.)
And, surprise, the relationship doesn't last, through no fault of the EthioMatch
party! By Ethiopian dating law, you know you are now banned from dating
anyone else at SELEDA, right? Aren't these "dating cliques" diminishing
the pool of available mates? Or do you think eventually alubalta mefaQern
ashenfo yazalqewal? |
We appreciate your canny style of describing this very serious problem
in our community. To start with, we don't think people from SELEDA should
be allowed to date OUR people. We recommend other forms of mammals. With
that said, we have to get over the fact that going out on simple dates sans
the shenanigans associated with long term relationships is alright and it
might even allow us to sort through the crowd and come up with a perfect
match. No need to slap the Scarlet letter on the ex this and ex that. |
| 15) Speaking of mazaleQ - Do you know Zeleqe? IndEt
yale sew...!! |
Abo yebarekew, jal..!Enante! Dr. Zeleken yemayawiQ man alena!
We thought about bringing him in the EthioMatch advisories board. |
| 16) In your "Articles" link, we noticed that you don't have
any essays on "How to pretend nothing's wrong when she says aynihin
lafer". Mnew? |
Pure oversight. We will definitely look for some script on ayn and afer.
Note to self - look up aynafar……sp? And add to Articles
section. |
|
17) You say that "Our custom designed system matches members
with others seeking similar or complementary attributes…"
a) Ere qoi… what exactly is your "custom designed
system"? (It ain't the good ol' inni mini miney moe, or, Shammo…ho!
Shammo… ho! system, is it?)
b) Would you ever match an ICS-ite with a Teferi Mekonnen-er?
|
a) Since you asked, it is an intricate algorithm that strictly utilizes
the fair and sound "Cini cini, sebat lomi"crossed
with "endendino sefela-katino"…..
EthioMatch will utilize sound data analysis to prioritize the interests
of folks and match them with the best candidate based on their attributes
and interests. Our service is a two-way matching process. We match and
reverse match so that both your needs and the needs of the person you
are looking have been mutually met.
b) Hmmm, maybe a TMS-ite with an ICS-er might make a better match.
|
| 18) Who is the best match for a smoker, recovering alcoholic with a
slight commitment problem who can't remember exactly how many kids he has?
|
Hold it now, are we searching for " a friend of a friend of a friend
thing…". Oh Seledian, you can be honest with us. We will check
the database and give you a ring.
|
| 19) We are delighted that this service is only for people living in
North America because, well… mehonim alebet. But we are chagrined
that Canada is included in this equation. If you are an Ethiopian living
in Canada, shouldn't you just fend for yourself? |
Canada abounds with many delightful Ethiopians that will be well served
by such a service as well. Being in Canada will allow for tele-dating that
can easily evolve into face-to-face encounters as appropriate. Besides,
a bit of bego adragot never hurt anyone. |
| 20) INa mnilew… how come there are no pictures of Ethiopian
couples soto-le-soto teyayizew menafes-ing by the beach on your page?
IndE! |
It was hard to come up with "anonymous" folks within our community.
We will hope to encourage beautiful Ethiopians to replace those captions.
God knows we have no shortage of Qonjo people. |
| 21) So, for $499.99 a year you offer the "Very Private" service.
What can we get for $500? |
The same glamour with a penny to spare. Hey a penny saved is a penny……
|
| 22) Do your services include background checks on applicants? How is
oneto know that Dr. Kebede Zeleqe, MD, Ph.D., BSc, MBA, DDA, JB, Debterra,
Blatena, neurosurgeon is actually not ya molaCHa KebEw the third
shift parkiologist? How about checks for unsavory characters such as kis
awalQis, majirat mechis etc ... (Just in case upper management wants
to apply, maletachin new.) |
We screen all applications carefully. We will also do basic background
checks such as email, address, phone number, etc. But we don't make people
swear an oath. We are aware of the occasional impostors. We advise our members
not to misrepresent themselves. A possible good relationship could be destroyed
by reckless hyperbole. If someone is serious about a long-term relationship,
misrepresenting him/herself is a deterrent to a possible match. "Ewentna
nigat eyader yegeleTal" endilu, if one lies he
or she is wasting his/her time and energy. But it is our policy to terminate
any member if we have good reason to believe the member is lying. |
|
23) Don't you fear anti-discrimination lawsuits, koonenE and/or
hamEt from 99.99% of Ethiopians who:
a) still think of a 'koombeeuter' as some devilish gizmo...
b) still think ethiomatch.com is some Ethiopian online kibreet fabrika…
c) are too proud to didd-masTat on cyber matchmaking joints…
|
We are hoping that the anonymity afforded by cyber matchmaking will alleviate
some of the fear folks have from going forward with searching for a soul
mate. You can come home from work and do it then or wait for the weekend.
This flexibility will hopefully allow most folks to forge ahead in their
social life.
|
| 24) Suppose you matched me up with my ex-wife... do I get my money
back? |
You will get your money back, minus the child support, sure.By the way,
we guarantee that we will not match you with your ex. If she was your compatible
partner, you wouldn't have divorced her in the first place. As you know
by now, our custom designed system only matches compatible people.
|
|
25) Us being Ethiopian, have you remembered to include the following
piece of script in your membership form?
if sex = "female" : age = age + (1/5)*age
if sex = "male" : salary = salary - (1/4)*salary
|
Good point. We will once again count on the participants not to take everything
they read or hear as a word of God. We count on folks to be discriminating
and have good judgment skills. When that fails, what is wrong with a little
less cash and a little more matured woman after all? |
| 26) When SELEDA was first launched a lot of people said it would never
fly. Do you get the same kind of mu'art about Ethiomatch.com? Also,
do you wake up in the middle of cold Chicago nights, sweating bullets and
screaming "Mn siaQebTen new?" |
We will see you at the support group pow-wow later on. So far, the response
from Ethiopians has been overwhelmingly positive. It seems many Ethiopians
are realizing the challenges of meeting people and the busy lifestyle they
are leading. As a result the match making service like EthioMatch is a God-sent.
And home-brew Tej ymesgen we get plenty of good nights' sleep. |
| 27) Is it improper for members to put in "orders"…?
e.g. "Eskii gimme a #2001, a #2007 and half of #2006."
|
Will that be with fries? |
28) a) Hold up! On the members' profiles, you ask for age, height,
education… "marital status"?! You don't advocate mamageTing,
do ya?
b) Is it understood that when an Ethiopian woman says that she wants
a "tall" Ethiopian man that she actually means someone taller
than 5'6? |
a) On the contrary! Our goal is to create faithful, respectable and loving
Ethiopian families.
b) Ladies, is that true?
|
| 29) Between you and us, what state has the loneliest Ethiopians? |
It is a tie between Washington DC, California, Minnesota and Atlanta.
Regrettably, the more Ethiopians there are in a certain place, the lonelier
they get. As the saying goes, we are lonely in the crowd. Could EthioMatch
help? |
| 30) We are very proud of your efforts. Er… any chance we can er…
get a gander at #1001? |
Ende!…!? Endih be adebabay..! |
