We here at SELEDA have signed lots of petitions… none voluntarily, of course. Let's see… we remember signing the "We demand Upper Management have its own Tabot celebrated on the 7th… SilassE can share a day with Mikael… those two get along anyway" petition. Oh, yes… that was fun, even though the postscript threat to d'rash maTfat anyone who didn't sign was a tad… garish.

And then there was the "We demand never to demand equality and democracy at SELEDA" petition. That, surprisingly, garnered 110,021 signatures… which was... bewildering since there are less than 100 SELEDA staffers. But at least it wasn't rigged or anything. No Robert Mugabes in this bunch, thank you very much.

And then there was the "Legalize Polygamy" petition, which we though was law already, but that's between our parole officers and us.

It used to be that our subconscious would metazeb our conscious about the elasticity of our morals at signing our names so mamby-pamby like. But eventually even our subconscious fell prey to towing the status quo yacht.

But no deeper zeal have we felt, no moral imbroglio have we relished, no spiritual rectitude have we enjoyed more than when we were asked/told to sign the latest petition that found its way in to our in-box. This one is to be compiled and sent to (gulp!) the White House, no less: The "We demand that Upper Management be considered one of the Axis' of Evil" petition.

In what our bosses considered to be an extraordinarily egregious, "d'rom ye ferenjie neger" slight, the SELEDA hallways shook with upper management's fury at being de-Axised.

We told them, "Ayzwachiu… we consider you, and only you, the ultimate Axis' of Evil (sort of the three Tnd Telatoch of EtyoPia that MengE used to carry on about…). To wit, we told them: The First Axis of Evil-upper management in a bad mood; Second Axis of Evil-upper management in a good mood; Third Axis of Evil: upper management in any mood.

They were momentarily starry-eyed, but it didn't take long for them to spit out our earnest attempt at mababel after half-heartedly maNeqing it. No, no, a thousand times no! Nothing short of being added to the list would satiate them. Tadiya mn mareg ychalal?

Thanks to the theory of inertia, however, akale snkul and less than wholesome ideas don't elude upper management for long. And thus they who are choleric said unto the people, "There shall be a petition," and thus there was a petition. And the people of SELEDA signed it, and soon the president of the free world will see the error of his ways.

Indemn senebetachiulin Seledamoch?

Welcome to the Depression and Ecstasy Issue. D'rom iko tenagren neber. Didn't we say that this would be light on the eykkkkkkkkkkstasi? Do we know you people or do we know you people? Ah, well… we won't beat a dead intern. As always though, wefram gratitude to our writers and contributors who manage to, as always, make us feel that the universe is absolutely in chaos and we are to blame. Thank you a million times over for weaving words finer than spun gold. We are, indeed, humbled. From Alaska to Debre Tabor, from Amsterdam to Accra, from Addis Ab'a to New Dehli, to all of us Ethiopians who have felt the sting of loneliness, the chenefer of isolation, the drq of belonging... to all of us who have felt like our skin was getting just a little too tight... ayzon!! We are not alone. We hope you enjoy this issue.

So, what's new at SELEDA?

Er, that question would assume that we have been doing at least some work. Nah, the neholels that we are rapidly becoming, we've been vegetating in front of the television wondering why we find the CNN logo curiously arousing. AeCHHHH!

We would, however, like to mention to our readers that the kids we love to love, the kids who will one day rule Ethiopia with the same tender hands which hacked into computers and handled playstation thingies, are at it again. The second annual Ethiopian Students Association International conference will be held in Atlanta the weekend of March 22. Huh? Atlanta? Oh, like Sherman didn't burn all scholastic aptitude in Atlanta along with them antebellum, mint- julep-sucking, cotton-trading, dung-throwing contest having passtimes in all of Geowjah. (Hmmm. Was that necessary?) Although it might be against most ethical codes to be seen in Atlanta, we urge all of you to attend and support this yearly erudition fest, even though, once again, the kids forgot to invite us to host our famous "How to say nothing with a lot of words" workshop. It begs the question: Why don't they love us?

Heavens to glory, kick us where it hurts and call us Nelly! We are extending the "Name the SELEDA Guy" contest one more month because of anemic responses. Er, people… interactivity… Send us your suggestions on what to name the guy on our logo.

What else is new…

What else could we possibly tell you about? Oh! Knock our heads and call us M'Tn Shrro … why, could it be… it couldn't … is it..? Why, yes! It be, it BE our birthday next month. No way. So way. NO way. SOOOO way. Ok, way. Yes, for three whole years now we have been wading in the kiddie pool of asmesai intellectual dexterity. Oh, look at us splash. Run, Spot, run.

Ehem… esti sine s'rat. (MechE y'hon mialfln?)

What we meant to say before we started acting like our SAT scores is… yes, it is April again… and yes, SELEDA turns three. And yes, we are celebrating this very unimposing achievement, as miniscule and underwhelming it might seem to the rest of humanity. Listen, besides breathing, and we're not even sure about that thanks to our pre-AA days in the 80s, we have not done anything consistently for three consecutive days let alone years, so heck yes, we will be celebrating.

Ok. Enough already. Third year, schmerd year. Oy vey!

Our April issue will be the Ethiopia Issue… Ahhh… need we say more? Need we tell you why you need to pen your stories and chronicle your tales so that your grandchildren can wonder why grandpa/ma was not sent to a home much earlier in life? Need we urge you to share your anecdotes of a country, a concept, a land, a phenomenon that beguiles and bewitches us? Need we beg you to memoneCHaCHer your fables and memories, gains and losses? We think not! Deadline is March 15th… 16th if you know the difference between Flseta and HudadE. Send all submissions to editors@seleda.com.

What else?

Oh yes… We have a bunch of new issues for the coming months… ke lie be-t'izaz yemeTu. May will be the Family Feuds Issue; June the "M'Ts"Issue; and July/August the 2015 Issue. No word yet on when we'll have the Is God from Gojam? Issue.

Much as we hate to, we have to leave. We've got to go sign the "Teddy Afro for President" petition.

We love hearing from you. Drop us a note from the Comment page, or email us at editors@seleda.com.
Selam inihun.
The Humble Editors.