From: Mariam
To: Ted
Subject: Let's get it on...

Hey Ted,

How is it going? Well, since I have been lucky enough to be nominated to go first (thanks a lot, Seleda folks), I better just dive in and honor my commitment. Whoa! I must say I was very excited that I was selected to be part of the Life Diaries, but now that the moment is finally here I am actually quite nervous, which is funny considering I have had my fair share of chatting and e-mailing back and forth with total strangers. So why in the world am I nervous now?????

Anyway, Ted, just like you I, too, am in the process of a career change. Changing careers is a tough thing and takes a brave soul to do, although some people may perceive it as being confused or indecisive. Some people know from the time when they were just a kid exactly what they want to do in life, and actually accomplish it as adults. Although I respect that and to some extent even admire that, I can't help but wonder if they are really happy doing what they are doing, and how they knew for a fact that they were not meant to be something else other than what they chose to do in life. I am in the category of the rest of the people who learn as we go what we want to be "when we grow up". In my case, I used what you call process of elimination in getting me closer and closer to what I want to do. What I mean by that is, knowing what I don't want to do is helping me pinpoint exactly what I want to do "when I grow up"; I can tell you without a doubt I know what I do not want to do.

Since graduating from college, I have worked at so many companies and held many different positions. Going through all these experiences and some serious soul searching, I am getting closer and closer to finding my calling in life. So, Ted, don't beat yourself up for deciding to change your career path. Honestly, you should be very glad and proud of yourself for recognizing earlier on that you don't like what you are presently doing, versus continuing to do what you do and hating it more and more each day but yet staying in it 'til you retire -- what kind of life would that be???? Life is too short and you should enjoy it each and every day and get rid of anything that causes you misery. This saying pretty much applies to anything in life. Well, I will end my little entry here and give you a chance to speak your mind. I look forward to hearing your side of the story, so 'til then, take care!

Mariam

From: Ted
To: Mariam
Subject: InetewaweQ yene emebet

Well, well, well. Mariam. It is finally good to hear from you. But your email was pretty modest. Are you trying to paint a particular picture, one of reservedness, or were you just fiddling with your thumbs when you wrote to me? Maybe your boss walked in while you were typing at work. As you probably know by now, Seleda is a place where we let go of our inhibitions (within boundaries) and say what is REALLY on our minds. Right, Editors? (Editors respond "Right, Teddy-o!")

Anyway, my anxiety level was about to go off the charts hadn't I reminded myself that this is supposed to be fun. You know, articles on Seleda can be quite intimidating sometimes. I am always fascinated by their ability to type with their right hand solely, 'cause they be hookin' up a thesaurus with the left! But it should be fun. Also, I am going to make this as informal as possible because once you assign yourself a certain format, you then lose the spontaneity and randomness that Seleda LD's are all about. (I might get lynched for these comments!) (Editors respond again"Ere Telatih lynch-yidereg!")

One more thing. I want you to take me very lightheartedly. I could be offensive at times because I speak my mind and that is the only way I can be real to people and, most importantly, real to myself. So, there is no malice intended when I state my opinions on things or even on you, and I invite you to feel free to do the same. Life is too short to hold things back when you really want to say them.

So Mariam, is it by choice or circumstance?! Seventeen years, my sista, 17 years!! Minew, hager inde sew aynafiqim inde? "Meche new, zare new, nege new, hagere'n yem'ayew" yemilew ye Mahamoud zefen concert lai alkisesh ataqeem, ijishin wedE qegn ina gira iyawlebelebsh? ChubE hode wist yegeba new yemeselegn when I first read the 'few sentences about yourself' email. Wow! Seventeen years, and not one trip? I can't even fathom the pain.

You are well into the desensitization stage (God knows when you passed it). You will see the effect those few sentences have had on the mental image I have of you at this moment. Initial impressions are critical in this superficial world . Hence, the whole fuss over 'trying to put me in a box' issue that I raised with the Editors. But Mariam, I am counting on you to reform this image as I believe there is a valid explanation for letting this beast called Babylon swallow you. You should have chosen a ruminant's belly to jump into. At least you would have the chance to be regurgitated! Whoa! Spontaneity!!

Well, I have been here for 6 years and I have been back once, about 3 and a half years ago. And right now, I feel like I am losing my mind. That is why I am going back in December. Have to touch base. Gotta go back to the roots that nurtured me to grow into the person that I am today. But the reasons for me not going back more often has been strictly financial. Ye diha lij mehon ihew new tirfu. Well, details on being AWOL from the motherland would be nice. You know what might help me understand? If you told me how old you were when you first came here. I don't know if you can read or write Amharic since you have been here for quite sometime and if you came here when you were a child. Some of the stuff that I wrote above might confuse you as being a misplacement of my fingers on the keys. That is why I am limiting myself to English but I usually apply a concoction of English and Amharic. Forgive me. I am assuming a lot of things at this time because your email was pretty uninformative due to its abrupt end. I'm sure you have the full edition somewhere. Please send it as soon as you can, so I can stop assuming things about you that you don't want me to be assuming. (Editors thank Mariam for retroactively correcting her entry!)

So let me tell you more about myself. I am the only male child of a university) professor, so basically, I am responsible for passing on the seed of the clan to future generations. "Be fruitful and multiply...", says the Man himself. Mind you, that was not a sexist comment, and I am far from being sexist. Or am I sexist, by default, because I am a man? It's getting hot in here!

Forgive me. Digression is a custom in the world of Seleda so bear with me. Grew up with my dad. Me and my sister. Parents separated/divorced when I was five. Long story there. If you have had a similar experience or you would like to know more, there are juicy details. Whet your appetite yet? My dad is the only parent figure I have so he is all I have to look up to. That reminds me, I need to call home. Was born here in the US. You wouldn't guess where. Does beer and cheese give you any clues to the state?

My parents were going to school (Dad-Ph.D., Mom-MS) in the 70's and I guess the lambskin condom broke or it was designed to give me a future with many opportunities. Nowadays, I think the latter. I am seeing the benefits of having an American passport when I witness people around me losing limbs to get a green card. I can only think about how lucky I am but I have also been threatened with my life because of my luck. So it's a double edge sword.

But we moved back to Addis in 1979, graduated from high school and back to my tewlid hager in 1994. A lot happened in between - the divorce, change of schools, appendicitis and, my favorite, a misdiagnosis that made me take medicine that almost killed me, when it was actually just hepatitis (not the STD! Too young when I had it). Well, I'm gonna take a little break and call home now. I will continue this later...

Well. This is one of the reasons why I don't like to call home because it is always, this person died, or this person is terminally ill, or something bad happened to so and so. I just found out from my dad that my best friend's mother died in a car accident a couple of weeks ago. I have known my friend's family since I was 4 years old. So many people have died since I moved here 6 years ago. Who's next? My father? I can't even bear the thought of that. The thought of me not being by his side before he moves on is terrifying. Ah!!!!! The bottom line is that it is too painful to stay here, separated from you loved ones. When was the last time you have seen a grown man bawling? Well, picture that, as that was the scene last night as I was talking to my dad. It seems like the pain grows exponentially, or it gets exaggerated due to the separation of loved ones.

Wow. Ok. I think this is a good introduction so far, even though it is extremely random. Mariam, it was nice to hear from you but I expect a much longer, much more complete email next time. Hope to hear from you soon...

Theodros.

Hey, Teddy (hope you don't mind me calling you that),

After that great introduction of yourself I feel like I know you so well. I will e-mail you my second entry soon, I promise. Since you sent me a long reply I will have to do the same in return. So please be patient with me and I promise to make it worthwhile. By the way I liked the way you kept saying my name over and over again, it was quite uuhmmm.........