What goes around...goes around again!

Meet the #1 example of yluNta bis’net: The slick immigration "legal expert" who is better dressed than the home-country immigration guday asfeTSami, but much less qualified. his promises of speedy immigration qeTeros, sure-fire asylum approvals, and DV marriage and divorce packages have earned him tens of thousands of dollars of his victims' hard-earned wages. Never fails to cash your check seconds after he gets it, tearing off to the Bank in his brand new Lexus -- never been known to issue a refund once it is clear that he has no legal training and has actually hurt your case. he is often to be found together with......

...the #1 example of misplaced yluNta: the new immigrant incapable of taking the #1 yluNta-bis (see above) to court even after he's been fleeced out of $3,000 (dohllaar? you ask. ay yelem, Birrr -- not! tayeN'ko!) ECh, that sleaze-bag iko wasn’t even a lawyer. yes, he's embezzled all of the newcomer's earnings. but this newbie would rather lose that money than be talked about around the community as having taken an abesha to court. On the other hand, he has no problems earning income the easy way at the parking lot, working for.....

...the #1 keeper of the Adebabay misTrs, the parking lot owner: He is fully aware of the comings and goings in his garages, but he may be the one to have the last laugh. he doesn't have to recruit to cover vacancies -- people will die in their chairs before they'll leave. he doesn't even have to worry about absenteeism. What other industry can boast that, even when deathly ill, its employees find their own replacements? All he has to do is to signal how much money he expects to earn -- sending around vigilant supervisors when profits fall too low. he doesn't even need to maintain a head office: yemn personnel section, yemn staff counselling?! edya!...a cell phone is all he needs and he can bask in the sun at the Bahamas...dipping his toes into the pool where he'll see......

...the #1 misTeerious man, veteran shopper for "innocent" wives: balding, borCHam, and beaming with pride, this newly wed is showing his bride a great time. Dissatisfied with the 18-year long relationship he'd carried on with his African-American girl-friend (le-green card fer'malN iko new, he's always justified), and burned by the mail-order bride his mother had found him (she'd arrived in America only to leave him 9 days later), this 49+ year-old had a brilliant idea. He’d gone himself to Addis to find a wife, and he’d done it in record time. He was going to show his new bride the good life this week, and then take her home to agerQiT Arkansas, away from temptations and abesha communities. He had maneuvered to “keep” her passport for her (no flies on this guy). He’d go back to his county job, and she’d be raising his children and cooking in his kitchen, and in his bed. He absentmindedly scratched the wiry hairs on his belly as he contemplated his divine missus......

...the #1 keeper of misTrs of all kinds: with a 21 year-old body and a 29 year-old mateb, this lovely beauty was stunning in her filmy après beach outfit. She flexed her speel-tako-clad feet and flashed her husband with the grateful, loving smile she'd been practicing for weeks in the mirror, knowing that the $300 US dollars, the other passport and the phone number in Houston that she’d sown into the lining of her handbag were her ticket out of the hairy bore’s bed. Her boyfriend of two years, 27 and passionate about her, would be waiting for her. That $80 she’d had to spend to have a dresser from their neighborhood "tighten" her up some to get over on the "innocence"-seeking fool. while she fantasized about her real love, she got sand kicked in her face by......

...the #1 agdm-adeg 19 year-old, one of a new generation of yluNta-free EthioAmericans. He wasn’t running or jumping when he kicked up all that sand (heaven forbid)...no, his shuffle was simultaneously supposed to look cool AND keep his pants on. he has all the requisite accoutrements of teenage hip; unfortunately, the swirling sand was wreaking havoc on his Playstation II. He shrugged it off...once his mother came home from the custodial service she worked for on weekends in order to afford his ever-growing designer sneaker collection, she’d get teary-eyed and dejected, but she’d cough up the money for a new one, no prob. She didn’t want her precious son to work. He whipped out his cellphone (his Moms had gotten him that, too…) and called his friend......

...the #1 car-crash expert, an Addis addis-meT and already ye-America hg misTr awaqi...who was too busy to talk to his homeboy because he was getting ready to set up a BIG one...worth $6500, at least. he gauged the time it would take this speed demon to turn the corner about 75 feet back from him (as luck would have it, a police car was just coming around the other side – double that $6500!!). he slithered out from the gas station in his Honda just fast enough to be fully in the lane and yet slow enough to catch the crazed driver completely unawares. the crunch of the back bumper, the deploying air-bag and the soon-to-be-forgotten neck pain were all that he’d hoped for...and less?! Wait up….dag!…sheeeeeeeet, man…was that an abesha coming out of the brand new Lexus?!?!