My intentions were honourable.

I promise.

Although my promises seem dry and irritating,

Unattainable and distant like the stars,

Blurred and forced upon,

like the dust of the harmatan season,

dissipating and disappearing into oblivion.

How many of them did I not keep?

Even failed to remember?

I meant to keep the all.

Honest!

When I mutter and utter those two words,

' I promise'

These two words man used to honour,

Now I trampled upon wearily like that muddy ground I used to play grown ups and ball games

I discarded readily like that inconcievable idea that I will inevitably grow up

And spitted out like that repugnant and awful spinach I detested

And you made me eat.

But my intentions were honourable.

I promise.

'Do you love me?' you used to inquire

Without any idea, the heavy weight this probing exerted ,

On my shoulder,

And on my young neck,

And on my innocent mind.

Oh, but you targeted my fragile heart

With your cannon of inquisition.

Most pleasing, it was for you,

Just to see my affirmative nod

Or to hear the proverbial 'yes I do'

Which was enough for your dark, golden eyes

To sparkle rays of genuine delight

The bud of your soul to flower your peace

The hurricane of your anxiety to tranquil.

And I,

Was young or foolish

Or both

To know.

My love was the apex of your existence.

My happiness, the pick of your achievements.

That you were the quintessential mother.

You said to love God

I do love God.

Honest,

And Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit.

But to my agonising and deserving pain

The scale of my love would tip on your favour.

I pray; God would not hate me for it.

As I struggle to extinguish the inferno of this

shameful and unholy fact,

As I attempt to hide it,

from your angelic being,

I would feel but like a sinner

Pinched, poked and pricked constantly with guilt.

Knowing....

That one day,

You would discover my burden,

When your piercing gaze would shatter

the strong safe of my heart

exposing the reading of the measure of my

love to you.

When you finally know this,

This blinding, sudden burst of fact that I kept secrete

This undesirable and insidious knowledge

This inequitable and inexorable love of mine

That most shamefully transcended above

my love to your God

your God I cherish and revere

Above all

Just like you said

And this power that wholly engulfed my conscience

And my consciousness

Would culminate in breaking your heart,

I fear.

But I will prey for forgiveness

Prey to the Almighty that my love for him

Will surpass yours

Then I will be absolved

Honest!

Now you watch down on me from heaven

And I, like the red sea, wait forever

As questions flow eternally like the river Nile

To fill me with answers

To satisfy my curiosity

If you knew,

When you taught me to be humane

Values, that you said were the cream of humanity

When you siphoned integrity into my heart from yours

When you gave me the will to swim against the tide of greed

That I may stray!

As I do often

Please don't judge my action,

For my intentions are honourable.

I promise.