10. At a leqso… the scratching, the biting, the screaming uncontrollably… er… wait… that goes under places TO have Sex.

9. At Sandford School… unless you have time to explain what sex is with the aid of graphs and stick figures.

8. On the beach in Langano… skinny, ultra hip expat ETs from California who've seen "Blue Lagoon" one too many times have spoiled that fantasy for all of us.

7. At Mosvold… they've wised up to the excuse… "frashun iyemokernew new".. and, er… they've made it into some kind of felony misdemeanor.

6. In an Ethiopian kitchen.... we know you have seen "Nine and a Half Weeks" but trust us.... there are only so many ways you can use miTmiTa.

5. Behind any church… even though your partner screaming "Gebrieliye, *gulp* ... siletEn semtehal" could be a good cover.

4. At Cinema Ethiopia… IndE! And interrupt the 200th screening of Waqt, featuring the lovely Bispasha Basu? New'rm yele indE?

3. Anywhere in ECA… the lonely, married African paper pushers need every nook and cranny.

2. At Mandefro's Tej bEt where ecstatic clients might be given a play by play account of your performance by the sharp witted azmari, while your westernized stupid self thinks he is talking about morality when praising your gbre-geb.

1. In Shemsu's suq in his "secret room" behind the sack of sugar… Lest Shemsu, in the middle of ye Tofe mirqanna, mistakes your, er… aroused manhood for a microphone and he gets a hankering to sing.